Командир ПЛ «Скипджек» вызвал писаря и отдал ему черновик ответа с приложениями к нему. Старшина сел за пишущую машинку, отпечатал необходимое количество копий, но вместо регистрации и вызова посыльного отправился с этими бумагами к старшему помощнику. История умалчивает, что именно он ему сказал. Судя по всему что-то вроде: «Сэр, вам не кажется, что наш «старик» окончательно того… ну… вы понимаете, сэр?» Видимо, старпому «показалось», потому что он в свою очередь вызвал уже вахтенного офицера. Перечитав документ все трое отправились к командиру и поинтересовались, уверен ли он, что это действительно стóит официально отправлять по назначению... Читать всю историю на Warspot ›››.Насладиться шедевром военно-эпистолярного жанра в оригинале:
|
U. S. S. SKIPJACK |
June 11, 1942 |
From: |
Commanding Officer. |
1. This vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper on July 30, 1941, to USS HOLLAND. This material was ordered by HOLLAND from Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, for delivery to USS SKIPJACK.
2. The Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, on November 26, 1941, cancelled Mare Island Invoice No. 272836 with the stamped notation "Cancelled - cannot identify." This cancelled invoice was received by SKIPJACK on June 10, 1942.
3. During the 11-1/2 months elapsing from the time of ordering the toilet paper and the present date the SKIPJACK personnel, despite their best efforts to await delivery of subject material have been unable to wait on numerous occasions, and the situation is now quite acute, especially during depth charge attacks by the "back-stabbers".
4. Enclosure (2) is a sample of the desired material provided for the information of the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island. The Commanding Officer, USS SKIPJACK cannot help but wonder what is being used in Mare Island in place of this unidentifiable material, once well known to this command.
5. SKIPJACK personnel during this period have become accustomed to use of "ersatz," i.e., the vast amount of incoming non-essential paper work, and in so doing feel that the wish of the Bureau of Ships for the reduction of paper work is being complied with, thus effectively killing two birds with one stone.
6. It is believed by this command that the stamped notation "cannot identify" was possible error, and that this is simply a case of shortage of strategic war material, the SKIPJACK probably being low on the priority list.
7. In order to cooperate in our war effort at a small local sacrifice, the SKIPJACK desires no further action be taken until the end of the current war, which has created a situation aptly described as "war is hell."
J. W. Coe 